Monday, September 1, 2008

Coping

...

Sometimes I want to scoop her up. Alia. Or rather, Aliyah. I want to wipe her tears away and then magically give her the ability to cope. She becomes overwhelmed very easily. And then she shuts down or holds onto it too long or cries. When this girl cries, she really cries.

Soccer practice. Today. All I knew is that she came running across the field crying. Did she miss the goal? Did she mess up? She is so competitive that at times these type of things can set her off. She was sobbing so hard that she could barely get any words out.

"Team...Daddy...they...not..." was about all I could get. I tell her to breathe. Calm down. Take it slow. Try again. What happened?

She tells me in a shrill, nearly hysterical voice, through the tears. They broke into teams. Each team had to choose a name. Aliyah offered no name suggestions. But when her team chose the name "Red Dragon," it became too much for her. After all, she didn't like the name. Hence, the ensuing drama that lasted so long that I had to pull her from the practice.

Of course, when she calmed down, we discussed teamwork. Committment. Sports.
Still, it wasn't just that she was upset and didn't get it. It was that she couldn't cope. Literally.

It is tough to teach coping skills to a six year old. Coping is so reactive and instant. We thought having a baby would be a coping issue for her. No. It's not the big things. She can cope with the big things. It is the little things. A perceived slight. A "no." The naming of the team.


3 comments:

Heidi said...

Poor Alia - coping is one of those things, I think, that you learn your whole life. Luckily she has a mama and daddy that have the patience and willingness to help her through it.

Mom said...

That's our little Aliyah! Somewhat like you were as a child. But, Aliyah has many positive attitudes and coping abilities as well. She's going to be A-OK. You and Rob do a great job with her.

Hello? said...

I feel your pain.

Kelly