Adult Bat Mitzvah

Yes, friends, the time has come for me to step up to the plate and do some serious learning.  Ritual learning.  Spiritual learning.  Intellectual learning.  All three of these types of learning will be engaging me during this process.

I am most looking forward to learning the following in each respective area:

RITUALLY.  I have for quite some time wanted to be a better davener.  I stink at memorization, and I read Hebrew extremely slow. This means that I usually daven about 85% of the time in English and 15% of the time in Hebrew.  I would love for that to change, and with this process that ratio will change. I will also learn to chant Torah which terrifies me. I secretly fear I will fail at this component due to my inability to memorize.

INTELLECTUALLY.  The parsha that I will be studying is Tazria-Metzora.  Yes, one of the least favorite, if not the least favorite parshas of them all.  I will be studying it through the lens of Rashi, and then most likely Ibn Ezra and Nahmanides.  If there is time after that, I would love to throw in a more modern commentator as well. This I am completely psyched about! Study-study-study - one of my favorite things to do! I hope to also pull a few people in occasionally to study chavruta style to maximize my perspectives and learning. If anyone is interested in sporadically getting together to do this with me over the next two years, please let me know.

SPIRITUALLY.  How can one study and learn the prayers ritually, and the parsha intellectually, without spiritual growth in the process?  I don't know what this part will look-feel-sound like, but I am open to the process of becoming a better person and a deeper Jew because of it.

I am looking forward to what this new Journey brings...the blessings, the challenges, the growth, the tension, the transformation.

Giving

This year has been one of careful financial consideration for us.  We have been cognizant of what we spend, and where it goes.  We have been thoughtful about not wasting money, giving to charity in the right proportion, and how to move into the direction of being debt free.  We have been working on fixing up our house in the most economical way possible, for the purpose of trying to find a way to walk to shul, without compromising financial security.  I am always aware of what is being discounted for our financial situation, and try to make up for any of that by providing our physical services or help in any way that we can to those institutions/organizations. 

This year, our expenses have increased a lot. The Crappy Red Van died, and we now have a car payment on a ten year old vehicle.  Our private school tuition increased by more than our car payment.  We had to start paying for part of our health benefits through work.  Chandler moved back in with us and that means more food costs and therapy. And, I increased our charitable giving because we were well below what we should be contributing percentage-wise. 

How, then, is it possible that ends are meeting?  I have no idea! Somehow, we have been blessed with being able to stretch our dollars further than I previously thought possible.  Also, it helps that some recent medical bills were able to be stretched over 12 months in a payment plan.  Regardless, I seem (at least) to feel better about how things are going, despite having less and less with which to work.  Rob has done a great job shaving hundreds of dollars off our grocery bill (although it does get to be slim pickings around re-grocery shopping time!).  We also are entertaining (like on Shabbat) a whole lot less because that ends up costing a bunch of money, and always blows our budget.

There is a type of freedom in feeling the financial hurt due to doing positive things, like becoming debt free, paying fair share, giving to charity.  Parshat Ki Tavo reminded me that there are blessing to be had from testing this out.  The message is clear. Yes, we worked hard for this paycheck – but we cannot forget who stands behind the scenes: G-d. And whatever G-d grants us, part of it belongs to G-d, to our community (both by supporting our synagogue through dues and other giving, and also the community at large through taxes), and part to those less fortunate or in the business of helping to empower others who are less fortunate.  

It is all good, friends. It is all good.

New Classes: Encountering Mystery: A Course in the Use of Imagery and Biblical Wisdom: A Guide to Right Living - Songs of Songs

Encountering Mystery: A Course in the Use of Imagery (Carol Rose)
Carol’s course is based upon the teachings of Jerusalem psychologist and wise woman, Madame Colette Aboulker-Muscat.  Carol will help participants to cultivate moments of openness, becoming more aware of the presence of holiness in our lives.  Participants will explore Imagery Work, a method that combines the use of modern psychological insight and ancient mystical teachings to develop a practice suited to contemporary needs.  No previous experience with Imagery Work is necessary. Everyone is welcome.

Class is held at CAJE on Mondays from 7 to 8:30 pm.  Three sessions:  March 4, 11, 18.  $45.
Click here and scroll down to register:  Register at CAJE

Biblical Wisdom: A Guide to Right Living - Songs of Songs (Neal Rose)
Participants will explore the books of the Bible that contain Wisdom, known as Chochma or Sophia.  Jews and Christians have used the Wisdom’s teachings as a source of inspiration for living their lives with strength, joy, and integrity.  Using the texts of Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Job and the Wisdom of Solomon participants will explore the application of these ancient insights to the complexities and demands of everyday life.  No previous study of these texts is required.  Everyone is welcome.

Class is held in the Brodsky Library, 12 Millstone Campus Drive on Mondays from 11 am to Noon.  Three sessions:  march 4, 11, 18.  $30
Click here and scroll down to register:  Register at CAJE

Lovin' the Learnin'

I have been getting my learning on!  As most of you know, the moment I stop learning, I fall into a kind of depression.  I need learning in my life to be the best me that I can be.  After a bit of a break in learning, I am back in to it, and am quite excited!

Alia and I began studying Tractate Brachot with Rabbi Neal once a week.  This is part of her bat mitzvah training, and we are both honored to be studying with him.  There is so much there, so much more than I could have ever imagined - and we are only three lines into it!

I am going to begin in April preparing for an adult bat mitzvah.  Mainly, I am doing this because I want to be able to know what my children already know or will be learning.  I also want to be more familiar with the services and be able to read the Hebrew as quickly as I am saying it.  I also think that this will be a great way for me to have one more connection to all that I am involved with. I really don't care about any ceremony per se. I really just want the knowledge, but am willing to do a little something to mark the completion of this type of study.  I am not sure how long it will take, but I am told it will probably be around 18-months to 2 years.

My chavurah, Chavurah Minsara, is a type of study as well, a self-study.  It is a Jewish imagery group, and we learn so much about ourselves within a social, physical, communal, and spiritual context.  This is led by Carol Rose, and I am sure I don't have to go into too much detail about how wonderful it is to study with her. If you do want the detail, you can find it here:  And you shall call her...

Once a month, I attend a class as part of the Heschel Society of Study.  In this class, which is mainly lecture but also involves a component of discussion, explores the words and philosophy of Abraham Joshua Heschel. This class is deep, complicated, and absolutely brain-stimulating!

I have also just joined via streaming video a Wednesday class at my shul. This class is called As the World Turns, and it covers topics in the news and their impact on Jews and Judaism.  I have only streamed on class thus far, and it was a special Purim topic.

Rob and I are doing a little study on Shabbat. We are reading and discussing one chapter (or 1/2 chapter if it is long) from the book by Blu Greenberg called "How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household."  Since we just started, we have only gotten through the preface! I read this book about 7 years ago, and remember loving it, but I cannot remember a thing from it!

The last bit of study is the Torah Study at shul.  Each week, we spend 45 minutes learning about the current week's Parsha.  The teachers rotate, usually it is a different rabbi each week. I really enjoy not only the teachings, but the comments and input from the others in the class.

Well, that about sums up my learning these days.  You can call me ONE HAPPY CAMPER!

Expose the Hidden

Purim. Megillot Esther.  Megillot - expose.  Esther - concealment.  Expose the hidden. 

What exactly is hidden and concealed from us?  What needs to be exposed?  This whole hooplah about G-d has been on my mind lately.  It is interesting that the whole miracle of Purim takes place without G-d even being mentioned.  He is only evident through nature.  We must use our analytical skills to parse G-d into the equation.

There is so much that is unexplained and perplexing.  Queen Vashti's unjust death.  The severity of King Achasverous' anger.  Haman's rise to power, and trust given to him.  The complete and totally unexplained hatred that Haman has for the Jewish people.  Yes, despite all of this, we back-read this story and see a miracle, even though no supernatural event occurred.

In fact, this back-read indicates that we are an active and necessary part of the miracle that occurred.  That no laws of nature were suspended.  That there was nothing required of us - not faith, not belief - for this to happen, for the Jewish people to be saved. 

What does that tell us about the here and now? About miracles?  How often do we back-read our experiences and notice the natural miracles that have occurred?

It's Been a Long Time...

A little Led Zeppelin...

No, this isn't really a Led Zeppelin entry, although I am listening to Rock n Roll right now as I write this, and it is a bit hard not to blast the volume and start air guitaring it right here, right now in the office! And, if you wish for a little listen, just click that link above!

So much has gone on in the past few weeks that I may have trouble figuring out where to begin.  I have been terribly busy with work which is always the case for the end of year through the end of tax filings.  I have also been working hard on Nishmah's Journey, the women's pre-Passover event which I sure ALL OF YOU will be signing up for...right?!?  Then there is the study that Alia and I started in preparation for her bat mitzvah which is a mere two years away. We are studying Tractate Brachot with our teacher and friend, Rabbi Neal Rose.  If that wasn't enough, there are my chavurah meetings twice a month, and other side projects that tend to present themselves from time to time.  Of course, I shouldn't leave out IEP meetings, sick kids, doctor appointments, house hunting and application filling out for my mom, more doctor appointments, and the occasional pure-exhaustion-lie-in-bed-and-become-a-vegetable thing that happens to me sometimes when I overload.

All of this adds up to...life flying by me at speeds that are insane!

In the midst of this insanity, there was time in early January for our family to take a long weekend and go to Tennessee with friends.  We haven't been anywhere in such a long time. We do not vacation regularly, and rarely take time out to do anything other than weekend camping trips in the spring and fall.  So, it was quite nice to get a way for a little while, even if it was only for about 5 days.

We came back to our good friends, Carol and Neal, who are spending some time in the Lou for a few months.  Even though I have been quite busy, and haven't really had time to socialize too much with them, it is nice to know that they are a mere 15 minutes away, or available on the phone.  

We are still preparing our house for sale, but at this point are unsure on where we are going to end up. A lot of factors are in play, and so I am not going to get ahead of myself just yet.  When the place is ready, then we will start to stress about where our community will be, and how we can make our observance level match that to which we feel called to have to it be.

And on that note, friends...off to pick up Alia from SNAP!

An old, old picture...Chan, Nevi, Alia and me.

G-CAM

There are times that I wonder why I have navigated a particular way, or what I am supposed to learn from certain situations.  As you may remember, I went on the AISH trip for women, called JWRP (Jewish Women's Renaissance Project) with the goal of TAG - Transform and Grow!  I really wanted to go back for the next part of the trip, but I was not considered.  I would still love to go, but (unfortunately) I am probably not the demographic for which they are looking.

I also missed going to the St. Louis program featuring the person who is the star of the JWRP program, Lori Palatnik.  However, a friend gave me a summary of what was spoken about (thanks, Rachael).  The thing that has stuck with me from that summary is G-CAM.

G - giving or taking

C - connection or estrangement

A - acceptance or rejection

M - my will or G-d's will

This is the conscious (and hopefully unconscious at some point) list one should go down to evaluate if one's words, deeds or intentions, the things we should ask ourselves when we face challenges, questions, and even every day dilemmas. 



I have this printed out and pinned to my board at work.  Tonight, I just looked up and saw it again.  Maybe having it pinned about eye-level isn't the best place!  It reminds me to be conscious.  It reminds me to look at things from multiple perspectives. And it reminds me how much I want to be back in Israel, learning from Lori again!