Kindness on the House

Today was a special day.  My nine-year old daughter chanted Torah for the very first time ever.  She read three lines of parsha Bo at school.  She did a fantastic job! I was so proud of her - I am so proud of her!  It was amazing for many reasons.  Here are but a few...

(1) My daughter has anxiety. You can see it in her meltdown, shut down, upset tummy, fear of being wrong-fear of getting in trouble-fear of not fitting in-fear of standing out-etc.  That she allowed herself to learn to chant the parsha, that she made it to the bimah to read (her tummy was really upset at the prospect) and that she stayed positive despite small mistakes in the reading of the last line is AMAZING! She showed dedication, maturity, courage and accomplishment!  Fantastic job and quite amazing in my book!

(2) The students - wow!  As Alia brought the Torah around, students patted her back and said kind words like, "You can do it!"  They were unprompted!  They just naturally supported her in this big moment. It nearly made me want to cry.  Afterwards, as she went around the room again with the Torah, students again patted her back as she went by and said things like "great job" and "good effort."  They had smiles and again, supported her verbally with kindness.  After the whole service was over, classmates came up to her and hugged her, told her that she was "awesome" and gave her big smiles!  One of the girls she buddies, Ellye, ran up to Alia and gave her the sweetest hug ever, held both her hands, and just beamed with the best smile I may have ever seen! Amazing classmates! Amazing!

(3)  If you were there, you would have seen that through Alia's smiles, there was disappointment that she messed up. Morah Val and I exchanged knowing looks, and Morah Val commented that she is so hard on herself.  So true.  Morah Carol (who teaches Torah to the students) stood her in front of the ark and told the students how courageous Alia was for being on the bimah and chanting Torah for the first time.  She acknowledged the difficulty with the third line and praised Alia for sticking with it and showing she was a leader. It was an acknowledgement of who my daughter is - a recognition of her struggles and a positive reminder of her accomplishments.  These teachers at her school (as Morah Carol showed and Morah Val as well as her teachers, Shannon/Amanda recognize) KNOW the students - they are present, aware and are able to acknowledge the uniqueness of each child.  They "get" Alia. For so many years, it has only been Rob and I who got Alia.  Someone else - a whole slew of teachers that make up her team of educators - get her as well. Amazing!

So you see...Alia's performance...the students...the teachers...all contributed to the amazing moment of her first chanting of Torah.  If only Carol Rose had been there to see it...she would have been so proud!  Alia mentioned she wished that she could have come...all the way from Canada! 

Video of her chanting Torah to follow sooooon!

 

Oh Sweet Tequila

It had been some 22 years since I had a shot of tequila - that is, until today.  When the Breakfast'la Club ran out of Peach Mimosas, and Irish Cream coffee became too sweet, a smooth bottle of good tequila made its way to the kitchen and somehow into my glass.  I had a "double shot" that was broken down into three shots (what can I say - I am not a hard liquor drinker). 

Much sweeter than the tequila was the laid-back atmosphere, the delicious and incredible spread of food, the fresh cool air, and the sounds of children playing and adults laughing.  The afternoon ended with a screening of 2011 with the Roash family via DVD, and not to sound too sentimental, but it make me pretty sad to think that some day they may be sending us one of those DVDs because they will be living far, far away.

As an adult, it is hard to find and make close relationships that have the kind of dedication and acceptance that old, old friendships have.  As I have witnessed in the past three or so years, sometimes close friendships disappear because they are not as deep or supportive as one originally thought they were. Finding solid friends like the Roashes is a gift and a blessing.

So, even though I support the dream - their dream - it is not without the potential for heartbreak to occur.  It doesn't matter what way one spins it, physical distance does diminish intimacy in friendships despite contrary desires.  Today we joked or dreamed that we would travel to CA to have a Breakfast'la once a year. From our mouths to G-d's ear!

Speaking of the Breakfast'la Club, I really love the sheer number of children that we collectively have bore, and that they enjoy each other's company, and that there is usually very little drama for the sheer number of them running around!  Their smiles are infectious and it is a joy to know that they are growing up together.

Lastly, when I implement this new FOK whole food plant based system of eating, I don't know what I will do about eating at Breakfast'la Club.  Will breaking it once a month be a big deal?  Is there way to reasonably pick and choose what to eat?  My goals with this are to lose 10 to 15 pounds (not because I think I am fat, but because the doc says that will help stabilize my blood sugar), reverse my pre-diabetic state, and to improve my chances at NOT getting cancer or heart disease, both of which run in my family.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Today was my mom's second chemo treatment.  That makes her 1/3 of the way through!  Since her hair has been falling out, it has been uncomfortable so tonight we shaved her head.  After that, I took her to Trader Joe's and we did some healthy food shopping for her.

Let the shaving begin!

I knew my mom was a punk rocker! Great mohawk!

Bald and beautiful!

With the new hat!

The Princess and the Thermometer

You know me.  I am an avid breastfeeder.  I breastfed Alia until she was three.  I was heartbroken and devastated when Neviyah quit breastfeeding at 18 months.  I made my own baby food. Cloth diapered before it became re-popular. Made my own butt-rinses for baby's tuckis.  I kept the little ones away from sugar, tv, and other influences. I co-slept with Chandler until he was 7, Alia until she was 6 and am still doing so with Neviyah. We are a vegetarian/pescatarian family.

So why does my little Nevi-Nevs get sick ALL WINTER LONG?! Does it mean nothing - these things I do?!

She went from almost a week of flu - to 4 days of croup - to a major cold and fever - to an ear infection - and now 10 days after antibiotics, she goes straight to a fever.  Germy kids and germy places and germy germs all seek her out.

It was heartbreaking this morning to have her cry. She awoke with the understanding that she would not be able to go to Small Hands, Big Difference today.  Her sobs turned to despair to desperation ("I want to see Adeena...") until she finally calmed down some 45 minutes later.  Then it started again, because the crying caused her nose to be plugged and now she couldn't breathe. UGH! My poor baby!

The only good news is no fever at all today yet.

Should have known she was getting sick -- the purple under the eyes becomes more pronounced.

Contaminating the challah pre-Shabbat! :)

The Head and the Belly

The time has arrived - my mom's hair is falling out in clumps, or pulling right out when tugged.  We dropped off to her a few hats and a scarf.  All that time I covered my hair came in handy as I was able to show her multiple ways to tie a scarf.  She does have a wig but maybe later on, she will let me buy her a kind of fun and whimsical one.

I have been having to confront my belly lately because it is protruding out of my shirts.  I am not happy about it!  I can't seem to be too motivated even with this reality that I don't have clothes to dress my new body size.  I am usually an extremely goal-orientated and motivated person so I am shocked over and over that I can't seem to change anything about my lifestyle to either FIX the belly fat or IMPROVE the clothing situation. Ugh!

If you haven't checked out the newest blogs on the market, some new must-reads can be checked on the right (scroll down to find them) but here are some quick links...

Pomegranates and Honey

Hourman

Out with the Old and In with the New!

How cliche! I don't usually write a new year entry because the Jewish new year is already in full swing. It is at that time that I write all of those idealistic entries for the future, reflect on my life, and do all of the personal inventory that the rest of the world is doing today or yesterday, or at all.

For me, it is really just another day and one that is a bit more special because of the sheer amount of food we lay out to munch on during the night until the wee hours...fruits, veggies, chips, dips, cookies, breads, cheeses...and the togetherness of moving furniture, laying down sleeping bags, pillows, blankets, and finally, staying up as late as we can watching movies (Cats and Dogs, Scooby Doo, Ponyo). On a scale of 1 to 10, this year would probably fall at about a 2. Not the greatest evening, but it was what it was.

Moving forward, I turn 42 on January 5.  I have NOTHING planned for my birthday other than taking my mom for the follow up doctor visit regarding her first chemo treatment. I used to have a yearly tradition of inviting my closest friends for Indian but we no longer have the cash to spring for such a thing.  Blame it on Day School tuition and preschool!  Last year, we had a sitter for Neviyah, and Chandler, Rob and Alia took me out to eat for dinner. Oh, and I got the best gift ever - Motek, my Great Pyranees/Anatolian Shephard mix.  Well, we didn't have her yet, but I did get a big dog kennel and we began the search for our new family member.

Motek at 6 months old

 

For all of you goal-makers out there, I hope you have a productive and successful 2012! For the rest of us, may our 2012 be better than our 2011, and may it also be productive and successful!  May we all remember to send love and kindness out into the world!

Dear Israel

Dear Israel,

I haven't written about you lately, mainly because it feels like you are so far away.  I keep trying to figure out what it is about you that has me so captivated, so connected.  When I see the beautiful photographs of the Rose family in Jerusalem, Tzfat, and Tel Aviv, I have an incredible ache to be there.  When I look through Alyson and Yossi's Facebook pictures of places in Israel I have never been, I have a twinge of jealousy and a resolve to visit those places.  Today, I saw the AISH flyer for the TAG trip for women, and I felt a swelling in my heart.

It is almost like you are a magnet, and I am drawn to you for every reason and for no reason.  I fear I will forget you--the parts of you that I love. The smell. The sky. The stairs. The people. The children. The Kotel. The sounds and the energy of Shabbat.  The delicious food   -- (go ahead, click on it!)

I miss you, Israel, and I hope to be able to see you again soon.