51 Insights on Turning 51!


Soon, in less than 10 days, I will turn 51. As is my tradition most years, here are 51 things about me at my almost age of 51!

1.  Life sure is different with a big kitchen as opposed to my older, smaller one.

2.  U City's simple beauty and feel never ceases to amaze me.

3.  I have been exercising on average 4 days a week. That is a huge improvement from the big 0 for the past few years.

4. Thursday nights are my favorite because Rachael and I cook for Shabbat dinner and day. We drink a little wine, we cook a lot of food, we listen to 80s music, and we talk.

5. Rafi, nicknamed "The Intense Eye Contact Dog," has become even more loving and loyal to me in the past few months. It can be annoying but mostly it feels good that he trusts me so much.

6. Bowie, big boy Bowie, is still sweet, goofy, and afraid to roam the house. As least he will go in the kitchen now!

7. The university funding process is confusing, scary, and downright hateful. It should not be this difficult.

8. I am finally falling into a role at Bais Abe. When the interim rabbi left, and COVID hit, everything I did that was meaningful for my shul disappeared. Although I am not exactly where I want to be, I am at least starting to find purpose in it again.

9. Homeschooling middle school is challenging. I will leave it at that.

10. Vegan jambalaya - wow!

11. Music used to be something I turned to when I wasn't overwhelmed with life but living with a musician husband has placed it in the forefront again, and for that, I am thankful.

12. Although my business isn't doing great (thanks COVID), I seem to be less freaked out and stressed about it. Somehow, I have been able to have a more accepting approach, and am glad we are still alive and moving forward.

13. I am married! I know I mentioned is above but it feels good to have a life partner that is square in my court. 

14. Grateful Dead is still my go-to cleaning music, pick-me-up music, and dance-in-the-shower music!

15. I am excited to be able to participate in assisting my new clients' business to be - more on that when they launch!

16. I miss Brandi and Bradley living close by, and I definitely miss seeing Bailey!

17. Spring water makes me smile.

18. Disappointing that Yang didn't make it to the presidency but thankful that Trump is on his way out.

19. It is hard to let go sometimes of things I cannot control.

20. I would like to say it is sunny all the time but the fact is that I have been harmed by the circumstances of my last marriage, and I am still not in the place I want to be since experiencing divorce. That may sound strange, considering that was a while ago, and I am now re-married. However, the depression it threw me into still sometimes affects my lens. Not in a good way. And so I have to work hard, sometimes successfully/sometimes not, at being the healthiest me possible.

21. Nature is still an important part of my life. 

22. Once I was an avid camper, and the depression took that from me. I would like 2021 to be the year it comes back to me.

23. We are connected - all of us - regardless of religion, race, identity, gender, economic status, class, disability, ability, language we speak, area we live in, political affiliation, age.

24. That being said, we are also all separate, with our own lenses, experiences, cultures that shape us and form us into who we choose to be.

25. I believe in G-d.

26. I believe in the Universe.

27. I believe in Humanity.

28. Every person has inherent worth and dignity.

28. Rats make great pets. They are social, friendly, lovable.

30. Geckos make great pets. They are quiet. Slow. Interesting.

31. I will do a lot of things to bond with my children, like watch Walking Dead and also American Horror Story. 

32. Ritual is mystical. It could be mundane but instead it elevates, it creates opportunities, it becomes a foundation.

33. Racism is alive. 

34. Sexism is alive.

35. Anti-Semitism is alive.

36. Love is possible.

37. Change is possible.

38. Connectedness is possible.

39. Never underestimate the power of Fajita seasoning blend from Penzy's. Never.

40. Weekly menu planning has been a blessing in disguise. 

41. Animals and Earth's creatures should be respected and treated with love and wonder. I am vegan for the animals.

42. Torah is everywhere.

43. Who knew I would dig a short nap in early afternoons?

44. Grief is like the ocean - it ebbs, it flows, it overwhelms at times, it is in the distance at times. 

45. I am not a victim. I am not a survivor. I am not a warrior or any other popular "ideas" or "names" people think is empowering. I am something else. I am like a person who walks through a blizzard, or a sandstorm, or climbs a mountain. I may get knocked down. But I get back up. And I keep moving.

46. I love the quietness of an art museum; the smell of a used bookstore. 

47. I am a no-makeup, used clothing, no fuss kinda girl.

48. I do not belong to a political party or a specific wave of feminism, though I am a political person and an avid feminist. My politics and my feminism don't fit any of the molds available at this time.

49. I love and support Israel.

50. I miss Jerusalem.

51. I can feel your energy, usually the negative stuff first, and the hurt second, and everything else last if I allow myself to not block after the first wave of it.