Long Days


Thursdays are long days for me. Up at 4 a.m. To work by 7:00 a.m. (or 8:00 a.m.). To J-school by 3:30 p.m. Dinner upon walking in the door and then off to Taekwondo until we arrive home around 8:30 p.m. Neviyah is only home for a mere 45 minutes before she is whisked off again.

Tonight I am exhausted. Mentally. Physically. If it wasn't so late--yes, 8:30 p.m. is late for me--I would soak in the tub again tonight. But Neviyah still needs to be awakened to change her diaper and give her a dose of her medicine.

Aliyah is still having a rough time coping. It is invading many aspects of her life. I just want to kiss away her troubles. How does one spare the child her pain? I know it is necessary. She has to go through it if that is her lot. Survive it and move on. It is hard to watch. Easy to comfort. But hard to watch.

Chandler is going through his own thang. At one end of the spectrum, he is doing so well in school. He was one of four boys and four girls who were chosen to do a special fun project in math because of their good behavior the other day. The teacher called them leaders and told them that he was counting on them. At the other end, there are times that counting to ten is not enough. Ten times ten is not enough.

Then there is me. Off track lately. Need to get back on. Sometimes I forget that my personal goal here is to move into the present, the moment and to constantly strive to be the best person that I can be. To listen and sometimes not speak. To live the lesson after learning it. Tomorrow I am going to get back on track. For now, a little Scramble and then to bed!