Usually on this day, Mother's Day, we spend a leisurely afternoon at Shaw's Garden. Stroll a little, relax a little, explore a little. Enjoy the fresh air. Commune with nature. Smell the flowers. Admire the trees. Notice the beauty.
Today, though, I am caught up in projects. Alia has a Noah's Ark project that she has had a month to prepare but for which we just found out about. I am sure everyone else knew, but everyone else doesn't have an unorganized daughter who doesn't bring papers home, and there is no good communication at her school about what she is doing, what her homework is, if she is missing anything, or if anything ever makes it home. And the latter is no. It doesn't make it home.
Chandler has two projects. Both major. Both things he cannot plan and execute on his own. So much for an IEP. He gets no support. We will be working all night on it which will stress him out and then cause an attitude that we will have to work hard on making sure doesn't escalate. He also is reading Torah the second day of Shavuot. We agreed before we found out about the projects. He hasn't even begun to work on it and it is two weeks away.
After a few stressful weeks at work, I wonder why I have to come home in the evenings to monitor and help with homework, reteach concepts that didn't stick at school and then spend my weekends doing projects. I am feeling at my limit these days. Very much at my limit. I am trying to remember to breathe, but the lack of sleep and the almost constant headaches are making it very difficult. Couple that with seemingly impossible deadlines, smart-mouthed kids and a husband that does not necessarily calm the situation, and you have a recipe for My Life.
I know. This will pass. I am just in it at the moment.