I don't like this feeling of navigating life from an insecure place. Second guessing my instincts. Feeling challenged about things that should not be cluttering my space. Descending the staircase, quickly-quickly-quickly. Why am I rushing? Where do I need to be? Why can't I soar up-up-up and burst through the clouds like a shiny, silver rocket? Where is my golden lasso?
I find it easier to latch on to the little things so that I don't have to deal with the big things. Cancer is big. My business is big. My ability to provide is big. Blood disease is big. My parenting is big. This merger is big. This economy is big.
The best advice this week, tonight, from my soul-sister, paraphrased in my own experience:
"Send out the light, privately, quietly. Visualize it. It might even be pushing back the darkness."
Yes, that is what I will do. And if I cannot tap into that light, I will find it around my neck, in my locket.